Easter ponderings

Wow! Easter has came and went so quickly; and, yet I remember complaining that they were setting up the stuff at Target before Valentine's Day was even here. So, in the midst of hanging out with Ethan, taking down wallpaper, baking, and card making I have been pondering the resurrection. I will confess that this year seemed to overwhelm me more than any other year, and I think that having a child who is old enough to hunt and enjoy his basket made me feel tugged in all directions. Sunday came and brought me such peace as I sat there in church (drinking my latte). They showed this very simple video of the cross that flashed various words describing the cross. Words like torture, inhumane, painful, humiliating, painful, betrayal flashed across the screen. But, among those words, one stood out. . . Beautiful. Beautiful doesn't seem to fit words like painful, humility, betrayal, torture and inhumane, right? Yet, nothing describes what Christ did for us better than that. He went through being loved and adored the week before to being rejected, mocked, and murdered. He, being God, could have stopped it at any given time, yet, he chose not to. He went through all that for me. Yes, for me. He had me in mind. I am a sinner. Without Him, I should die the same death. His sacrifice is a beautiful thing. It also so wonderful that it takes place during the Passover in the Spring - where all things are new. Because of HIS sacrifice, I am a new creation - just like the beauty of the spring. Yes, in all ways, Christ's death on the cross is beautiful. It is beautiful because he died and then rose again. He is alive and living in me - making me new on a daily basis.

We did start some traditions and as Ethan gets a little older, I will add more. But the focus will be on Christ. I am looking forward to adding the resurrection eggs and resurrection buns to our celebration next year.

A new milestone. . .

Last week I celebrated my 30th birthday and I think I am in denial. I thought my family and I were just going to celebrate it quietly at home, but little did I know that my dear, sweet husband planned a surprise party with some friends and family. I was completely caught offguard! But, I feel so blessed to have a fantastic husband and great friends who would go behind my back to plan something like that (thanks Jon, Steph, and Josh!!!!). In honor of my 30th birthday, everyone dressed in black to mourn the loss of my 20's. And mourn them, I did.

My 20's were filled with so many adventures that I thought I would take some time to remember them for a moment.
:: Moved to Fresno
:: Traveled to El Salvador on a missions trip with my church
:: Graduated from Fresno State with my BA
:: Received my credential from FSU
:: Spent 2 years subbing
:: Attended Urbana Missions Conference (where I met my husband)
:: Taught for 4 years, moving schools 3 times and classrooms 5 times,
:: Got married to my wonderful husband, Jon
:: Traveled to Las Vegas and Chicago,Seattle, Oregon, and many of the western states
:: Gave birth to one cute little baby boy
:: Traveled and explored San Francisco too many times to count

And now I am 30. I am not sure what 30 is supposed to feel like, but I do know that I am going to dive right in and continue living life to the fullest. There are so many things that I want to do. The first is to move into my new house. I am looking forward to this upcoming adventure of being a homeowner and the many more adventures that follow.

So, bring on the 30's!

I think I am suffering from chronic laziness. I just don't want to do anything! So, it is Thursday and this is my only blog post for the week. I have lots to post, just haven't felt like getting the cord to transfer pictures from the camera to the computer. Also, I think we are going to be moving shorttly. Escrow should be starting soon! It's looking good. Just praying that sellers would be able to get their loan approved for their potential new home. Thanks for your prayers!


Outside my window... The sun is shining and it's very warm. 5:00 is approaching and people are beginning to come home from work. Less than an hour till the hubby comes home and our weekend begins (he works longer hours to get every other Friday off. . . so nice!)

I am thinking... that I should be finishing the vacuuming and getting ready for tonight. Instead, I would much rather be here, writing, and hanging out with my son (who just finished his snack).

I am creating... well. . . a clean house right now. But there is card making in my VERY near future. Just needed to get the house clean so I could start. Tomorrow, I begin!

I am going... to MOPS tonight. I am leaving Ethan and Jon home to fend for themselves and I am going out. It's going to be nice.

I am reading... so much right now. But, for Bible Study we are continuing with Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire, by Jim Cymbalta. So awesome! I think that sometimes we forget how much prayer is vital in our lives. I also heard a quote recently (ironically on facebook) by John Piper about how we won't be able to use lack of time as an excuse for why we didn't pray. . . we have Facebook and Twitter.

I am hoping... to have a great weekend! I think I will, lots of fun things planned!

I am hearing... Ethan clapping and giggling. . . and whining because he's out of snacks and wants to play and I am sitting here typing. In other words, he's bored! Poor guy!

Around the house... pumpkin! Lots of pumpkin! Many new recipes to try! Very excited!

One of my favorite things... Ethan! Seriously! He's a great kid! I am never bored. Today I went and checked on him at nap time. He was just laying there almost asleep, but his eyes were open and he saw me. He just layed there and waved to me! Priceless!

A few plans for the rest of the week: I guess I should say weekend, right? It is Thursday, afterall. MOPS, cards, Chocolate Fountain Night with the ladies in my Bible Study, Teen Valley Ranch Lunch, First Grade Sunday School, and Children's Ministry training. It's going to be a busy weekend!

An Attitude of Gratefulness

I haven’t had much time to sit and contemplate. I have all these ideas for writing streaming through my head, but this one has stayed constant. Gratefulness. It is something that I have needed to do over the past few weeks, but last week it became even more apparent. . . I was becoming sad and slightly bitter. Not to say that being sad is wrong. . . it’s just that I was sad for incredibly wrong reasons. I forgot about being content and relying on God’s perfect peace. I was not in control and things were not going according to my plan and in my timing, therefore my attitude was in dire need of a readjustment.

Being grateful is taking the time to rejoice in the little things. It is so easy to forget that we have roofs over our heads, food on the table, clothes to wear, families that love us, and most importantly a God that loves us enough to forgive all of our mistakes (and trust me. . . I make a lot of them!). I am so thankful for all the gifts that God has given me. As I look at all the times that God has answered “no” or “wait” to my wishes and desires, I find that his presence never fails and his love abundant! He is constantly blessing me with gifts. . . no, not gifts as in beautifully, and carefully wrapped presents for me, but blessings that encourage me. . . a kind word, a hug, a smile, and even something unexpected.

So, in this time of waiting I am going to wait patiently with anticipation. God will eventually open the doors in his timing, but until then, I am going to hang out and wait for God’s blessings to shower down and swim in the blessings that already surround me!

Here are some quotes that I found about being grateful:
"He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has." – Epictetus

"Life without thankfulness is devoid of love and passion. Hope without thankfulness is lacking in fine perception. Faith without thankfulness lacks strength and fortitude. Every virtue divorced from thankfulness is maimed and limps along the spiritual road." -John Henry Jowett

“The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings.”-Eric Hoffer

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God."-The Bible Phil 4:6 NKJV

"If a fellow isn't thankful for what he's got, he isn't likely to be thankful for what he's going to get." - Frank A. Clark

thinking. . . .

It's Friday morning, the hubby's home, and the kiddo is sick. All plans are cancelled, which makes it bittersweet (I was looking forward to a day trip to Sac, but am okay with staying home), so here I am blogging.


Outside my window... sun once again shining (hey, it's California, what can I expect?), the birds are chirping, and the road is freshly repaved.

I am thinking... that it is nice to hang out in sweats and a sweatshirt and it is okay that I just fell asleep with the kiddo curled at my side, while Jon is out doing my grocery shopping and buying pajamas for the kiddo.

I am wearing...hmmmm. . . sweats and a sweatshirt. I must note that I haven't taken a shower yet and am enjoying a morning of laziness while taking care of my sick baby.

I am creating...nothing at the moment. Although it might be nice to start on some upcoming birthday presents and I am really wanting to make some cards. Oh wait, I need to make a wedding card for tomorrow. I should get on that. . .

I am going... absolutely nowhere. I am not really sure how I feel about that. I had planned on taking the family to Apple Hill today. It just sounded like so much fun. . . and fall-like. Maybe another day.

I am reading... right now. . . just keeping up on the goings of facebook. So, very lazy today.

I am hoping... that God moves this house buying situation along. My patience is wearing thin. I know I am annoying my husband because I don't want to look at other houses. . . it just makes me so sad. Then I start thinking about Christmas and get so frustrated because there are boxes and bikes blocking the fireplace so no stockings to be hung and there are toys and stuff where the tree usually goes. So, I hope that God moves us soon, because I am not sure that we will be celebrating Christmas with decorations this year. . . and this makes me very sad!

I am hearing...absolutely nothing. . . until my cell phone rang.

Around the house... it's clean here. I cleaned yesterday. . . it's nice. Although Ethan has a few toys thrown around, it is nice. A great way to start the weekend. :)

One of my favorite things...my family. I am so very thankful for the treasures that God has given me with them in my life. I am looking forward to a long weekend spending it with them.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Well, it's Friday. . . the week is nearly over. So, I guess just hanging out with the family. I do need to make some treats for Sunday school on Sunday and plan my Sunday School lesson.

mid-week thoughts

Here are my thoughts for the week. They are probably awfully boring, but it's me and I am loving the first actual signs of fall since last year!

Outside my window... the sun is shining brightly and there is a soft breeze blowing! Not to mention the temperature is only in the 70's today. Can I just say . . . Pure Bliss!

I am thinking... that if I take a nap nothing will get done and that a Pumpkin Spice Latte sounds delish!

From the kitchen... hmmm. . . right now the dishwasher needs to be filled. But there are some fresh baked chocolate raspberry bars (which will get posted tomorrow?) and leftover spaghetti (with homemade sauce! scrumdiliumptious!)

I am wearing...sweat pants, tank top, sweatshirt. . . my comfy's so that I can relish in the bliss of the weather!

I am creating...nothing right now. It feels good! I did make my list of Christmas presents. Kids and women are easy. . . men . . . not so much. Too bad they don't like ties.

I am going... to take Ethan to the met tomorrow night. Bob the Builder is there and tomorrow night during Art Hop it's free. . . and I am cheap. Oh, Jon's coming too!

I am reading... Acts chapter 4 this week, more Mandie, and some craft blogs!

I am hoping... to be in a new house by my birthday. It would be the perfect birthday gift!

I am hearing...construction workers. I have absolutely no idea what they are working on. I love my apartment, but there was no mention of construction going on.

Around the house... there is a pile of boxes waiting to be packed. I am getting tired of looking at them.

One of my favorite things...HULU and netflix. Who needs TV when you can watch shows the next day?

A few plans for the rest of the week: read, organize, grocery shop. Basically the basics.

What's goin' on?

This morning I was searching the net. . . in other words, I was procrastinating. . . and found a blog that had these fill in the blank like things linked to here. I am really wanting to do more writing and thought sharing with you (like here), so I thought I would give it a try. Here it goes:

Outside my window... the sun is shining and it's already getting hot. Glad I got my morning walk in early.
I am thinking... that being patient is really hard!
I am thankful for...God's constant provision.
From the kitchen... broccoli chicken casserole (for dinner) and leftover toffee bars (to be posted later this week).
I am wearing...skirt and t-shirt, but not going anywhere. . . just cool and comfy for the HOT fall day!
I am creating...a rattle, something for Jon's cousin's upcoming baby, bibs for MOPS, and something for me.
I am going... to try not to procrastinate too much . . . it's just so easy!
I am reading...hmmm. . . a lot actually. I just started the book Fresh Wind Fresh Fire for Bible Study and am loving every minute of it! I am tempted to skip ahead. I am also trying to read through the Mandie series (a childhood favorite!)
I am hoping... to hear some news of the house this week. It seems like such a long time ago that we put the offer down and won that "war." I am ready to move and make our home a bit bigger. I am happy here in our tiny apartment but long for the opportunity to host play groups and gatherings in our new, bigger home. All in God's timing, right?
I am hearing...lawn mowers. . . they are sooo loud!
Around the house...toys. . . blocks. . . since Ethan's birthday there are blocks everywhere! I love it!
One of my favorite things...right now. . . quiet Monday. Jon has the car today (his carpool buddy ditched him on accident) and it leaves me to a peaceful day with no errands. That and semi-frozen water bottles!
A few plans for the rest of the week: sew, sew, read, read. I really want to stay more consistent with my quiet times. I do so well and then I get to the end of a study or really busy and somehow they just get put aside. I am trying to regain my focus on spending time studying God's Word. It is just so important. . . my source of peace, patience, joy, love, and endurance! My cup needs refilled.

Reflections on my Purpose

I sit here staring at the screen trying to find away to put my discombobulated thoughts into complete, understandable sentences and answer the question, "What is my purpose?"
I have been attending a Mom to Mom group over the summer and that has been the one thing that has challenged me, as it is slowly drawing to a close (we only have 2 weeks left).
Let me start at the beginning. At the close of the 2007-2008 school year, I resigned from my teaching position so that I could stay at home with my soon-to-be born son. It had been something I always wanted to do and something my husband fully supported. I couldn't wait! Ethan arrived at what would have been the start of the new school year, giving me something new to focus my energies on.
As I made this decision to stay home, I was met with different opinions on how I would miss my job, not have any time, go crazy, or be bored. In all honesty, I have felt none of these feelings. I know many of my fellow mom-friends have felt frustration, anger, hurt, and loss as they have taken the leap to stay at home rather than be both mom and employee. I understand the loss, as I am no longer know as "that teacher." On insurance forms, there is nothing to write down. And probably the biggest loss, is an extra income. It is an area where I have to trust that God will provide. . . and he hasn't failed me yet!
I have been called by God to be a mom. That comes obviously, since I have the most adorable little boy (sorry, I am a bit biased). But, I also feel that God has called me to the job of homemaker - a job in which I find great joy!
When Jon and I got married, we had to pick some scripture and I think it also fits as I grow as a mom. Romans 10 says, "love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy in your work, but serve the Lord enthusiastically. Be glad for all God is planning for you. Be patient in trouble, and always be prayerful."
As I contemplate my purpose, I know that my first responsibility is to my God and Creator. He needs to be the center of my life. This means, I need to make a daily choice to spend quality time studying his Word and talking to Him. Nothing I do, can be done without the power of Christ. He is my source of patience when Ethan is climbing the walls; my source of peace, when go through the home-buying process; my source of joy, as I clean up the toys for the hundreth time that day; but most importantly, He is my source of Grace, because I am far from perfect and need forgiveness on a daily, if not hourly basis. Without that grace, I would be nothing!
My husband is an awesome gift from God. Only through God, can you meet a godly man on an airplane and marry him. My next responsibitiy is my role as a wife. I need to be praying for Jon on a daily basis, prayers that cover him with protection, love, and favor. I need to serve him - even if it means folding his underwear or keeping the house clean and uncluttered, so he can feel relaxed when he gets home. I also need to understand my husbands needs - as in his quiet times with God, his times to just read and be alone (something that both of us thrive on), or even his need to play video games.
Children are an amazing gift. They are born, they grow, learn, and become independent thinkers. Ethan is a great responsibility. However, it does not come ahead of God or my husband. As a mom, I need to help my child grow into an independent, God-loving thinker. This comes with so many other tangents I could go on - discipline, play-time, etc. But, I must note, Ethan needs to feel loved. I need to show God's love to my son and bring the joy of the Lord into my home. I also need to cover Ethan in prayer. He is a precious gift from God - and I desire God's best for this little guy.
So, to conclude, I think my purpose is this"

To enthusiastically seek God as I love my husband and son.