I sit here staring at the screen trying to find away to put my discombobulated thoughts into complete, understandable sentences and answer the question, "What is my purpose?"
I have been attending a Mom to Mom group over the summer and that has been the one thing that has challenged me, as it is slowly drawing to a close (we only have 2 weeks left).
Let me start at the beginning. At the close of the 2007-2008 school year, I resigned from my teaching position so that I could stay at home with my soon-to-be born son. It had been something I always wanted to do and something my husband fully supported. I couldn't wait! Ethan arrived at what would have been the start of the new school year, giving me something new to focus my energies on.
As I made this decision to stay home, I was met with different opinions on how I would miss my job, not have any time, go crazy, or be bored. In all honesty, I have felt none of these feelings. I know many of my fellow mom-friends have felt frustration, anger, hurt, and loss as they have taken the leap to stay at home rather than be both mom and employee. I understand the loss, as I am no longer know as "that teacher." On insurance forms, there is nothing to write down. And probably the biggest loss, is an extra income. It is an area where I have to trust that God will provide. . . and he hasn't failed me yet!
I have been called by God to be a mom. That comes obviously, since I have the most adorable little boy (sorry, I am a bit biased). But, I also feel that God has called me to the job of homemaker - a job in which I find great joy!
When Jon and I got married, we had to pick some scripture and I think it also fits as I grow as a mom. Romans 10 says, "love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy in your work, but serve the Lord enthusiastically. Be glad for all God is planning for you. Be patient in trouble, and always be prayerful."
As I contemplate my purpose, I know that my first responsibility is to my God and Creator. He needs to be the center of my life. This means, I need to make a daily choice to spend quality time studying his Word and talking to Him. Nothing I do, can be done without the power of Christ. He is my source of patience when Ethan is climbing the walls; my source of peace, when go through the home-buying process; my source of joy, as I clean up the toys for the hundreth time that day; but most importantly, He is my source of Grace, because I am far from perfect and need forgiveness on a daily, if not hourly basis. Without that grace, I would be nothing!
My husband is an awesome gift from God. Only through God, can you meet a godly man on an airplane and marry him. My next responsibitiy is my role as a wife. I need to be praying for Jon on a daily basis, prayers that cover him with protection, love, and favor. I need to serve him - even if it means folding his underwear or keeping the house clean and uncluttered, so he can feel relaxed when he gets home. I also need to understand my husbands needs - as in his quiet times with God, his times to just read and be alone (something that both of us thrive on), or even his need to play video games.
Children are an amazing gift. They are born, they grow, learn, and become independent thinkers. Ethan is a great responsibility. However, it does not come ahead of God or my husband. As a mom, I need to help my child grow into an independent, God-loving thinker. This comes with so many other tangents I could go on - discipline, play-time, etc. But, I must note, Ethan needs to feel loved. I need to show God's love to my son and bring the joy of the Lord into my home. I also need to cover Ethan in prayer. He is a precious gift from God - and I desire God's best for this little guy.
So, to conclude, I think my purpose is this"
To enthusiastically seek God as I love my husband and son.