I got away

I signed up for a Women's retreat.  I've always came up with excuses for not going.  But for some reason, I really wanted to go on this one.  I think that it might have had something to do with it was going to be held at a conference center not far from the beach and I am always a sucker for the cool coastal air, the smell of sea salt in the air, and sand between my toes.  So, I made my deposit and secured a room with my bestie and went about my life. 

I'll be honest with you, I still came up with excuses to change my mind. Food, sleeping arrangements, schedules, the what ifs. . . they all went through my mind.  But, I didn't give into my fears or second guessing.  I went and left feeling refreshed and ready go finish off this school year.  I am tired because, who needs sleep when you get to hang out around a fire pit with coffee, dessert, and sweet friends? 

Sneaking away to one of the most beautiful places was amazing.  I don't remember when the last time I have gotten away from my family, which is not why I went.  I went because something deep inside me told me to go and my husband said go.  I think he was looking forward to a guys weekend with the boys, because they had a blast watching soccer games all day and playing miniature golf and ordering pizza!  But, either way, he knew I needed to go and I am so thankful. 

There has been a Travel and Leisure article floating around social media these days that says taking a trip with your girlfriends is good for your health.  The best part of it is that is backed up by all sorts of scientific statistics that may or not be true, but sound great!  And while I went on this trip alongside some of my favorite people, I laughed a ton, was inspired, and also just enjoyed some gorgeous scenic views and breathed in the salty sea air I don't think it cured me of anything.   I did, however, leave refreshed, energized (still tired), and encouraged after a weekend of friends, some really good worship, and time with God.

Taking time to step away from your normal routine, the people who need you the most, and just do something for yourself is worth it.  It's an investment in your mental well-being.  Trust me, that's so important!  There are days and weeks that go by where being a mom is incredibly exhausting.  It doesn't matter if you are a stay at home mom, a work from home mom, or a go to work mom.  We are ALL tired.  We are all stretched thin.  We all bite off more than we can chew. 

 So, in the aftermath of unpacking (I'm pretty sure I still have a couple of things in my suitcase), I thought I would take a few minutes and jot down a few of my thoughts on why should we go away.

1.  You're family can handle things with out you.  You're kids and husband will survive.  They might eat grilled cheese sandwiches and order pizza all weekend, but they will not go hungry.  They probably won't clean. . . and that's okay.  Let them have their weekend, too!  I know we think we need to do everything all the time, but our husbands are actually really good dads and while, we do make things easier for them, they can, in fact, keep the kids alive for a day or two! 

2.  You need to take care of yourself. I know that this sounds so selfish, but getting away is good for the soul.  I didn't have to cook food for anyone or have anyone NEED anything from me.  That was nice.  I've always been pretty intentional about taking time to go out to lunch or to a movie by myself, but never for a whole weekend.  I jumped right back into our busy schedule, but even though I am tired, I feel so refreshed, like my battery got charged.  If you can't sneak away for a weekend, I highly recommend taking the time to treat yourself to a coffee or lunch or even a pedicure, where you can sit down, read a book, maybe do some journaling and even pray.  You will thank me. 

3.  Leave your fears behind.  I can't even begin to tell you how many fears came through my head in the weeks that led to the retreat.  What if I starve?  What if a kid breaks a bone while I am out of town?  What if. . .  honestly, so many What if scenarios that I just sort of had to "lift it and leave it." (Ha ha. . . just heard one of my favorite instagrammers say that. . . and totally loved it).  Anyway, I brought food and told reminded myself that God had this.  I was going.  And guess what, I had a great time.  My husband and boys had a great time.  It was a win-win.  Don't let a case of the what ifs cause you to miss out on a great recharge adventure.

4.  It's good for your husband and kids.  This kind of goes with the first point, but oh well.  It is so good for your husband to have some one on one time with the kids.  I feel like we have let ourselves believe that we are the only ones who can care for our children and that is unhealthy.  Our husbands are just as capable to do our jobs as we are, we just need to let them.  Our kids need to create their own memories and bonds with their dads, just like we do.  Let your husband create strong, positive memories with the kids and give yourself permission to enjoy yourself away from your family.  If they eat junk all weekend and play video games way longer than normal, it's just a weekend.  Release your control and have fun. 

5.  It's okay to miss something.  I missed my son's first softball game.  He ended up starting and getting a base hit and I missed it.  And guess what, life went on and I got to hear the story a bunch of times afterward.  Our kids need to know that our lives don't revolve around them, but we still love them and care about the things they do.  We can't be at every event, field trip, sporting event all the time, but we can call and see how things went and hear the excitement in their voices.  We can come home rehear their stories and share in their joy and sometimes even their disappointment. Our kids can be confident that even though we are not there, they are loved and valued, and we can't wait to hear all their stories. 

6.  Stepping away from the normal routine opens doors for God to speak.   Sometimes when we step away from the our normal crazy life, we open doors for God to come in and do some soul work.  This one is probably the most important reason for going on a retreat.  Retreats force you to slow down and listen.  It might not feel like you are slowing down, but when was the last time you just sat and watched a waterfall, stuck your feet in the water and just praised God for his creation or had a heart to heart conversation with a friend?  Taking the time to really invest in your relationship with God is something that we shouldn't take for granted.  We often chase the busy in exchange for the quiet because it's easier, safer, and we can stay right where we are. . . comfortable.  God wants to move us into a deeper, stronger, and more vibrant relationship with Him and that takes moving away from the constant distraction of life and all its busyness and stepping into a quiet moment for your heart to be challenged.  Maybe God trying to tell you something and you've been running?  Maybe you're longing for a good friend?  Maybe, if you keep staying busy, no one will notice the hurt and pain you are suffering from?  What if we took a risk, signed up for that retreat, and made a new friend or even better, started experiencing the healing power of our Savior.  It is essential for us to make room for God to speak, and going on a retreat is a great way to make that happen. 


 I know that retreats can be expensive and maybe you don't know if your church has one, but find out if there are any coming and find ways to save up for one or even get on the waiting list at your local christian camp and see if any spots open.  Step out of your comfort zone and see what happens when you do!