Let's be better.

I have come to the conclusion that I do not have it all together.  The reality is I have always known this, but this year, I am reminded of this every single day.  Every day I fall short of something.  I mess up.  I burn something (dinner may have caught on fire last week. . . Oops!),  I forget something.  Things don’t get done.  It is a reality that I am quickly realizing might just be my normal this year and I have to be okay with that. 

I think that It is so easy to look at someone and assume they have it all together.  You might look at this blog and wonder, “How the heck does she do all she does?” Or even, “Why doesn’t she work?”  Instantly, once these thoughts leave our mind, more thoughts come through and we’ve got a problem.  We start looking at our lives, our homes, our projects and wonder what is wrong with us.  The truth. . . Absolutely NOTHING!. 

Over the past year, there was an image and poem that floated around the social media world talking about how, during the pandemic, we were not all in the same boat.  Each of us was in the same storm, but not in the same boat.  We each handled it in our own way and we each had our own struggles.  A sweet mom friend and I were talking a few weeks ago about how, both of us being enneagram 7’s had to find a way to get out of the house and have adventures. . . Being stuck at home was not good on our hearts.  In other cases, my sweet homebody friends were living their best lives being able to work from home.  Some of us had good or even decent experiences with distance learning and others quite the opposite. 

 But, what the heck does pandemic life have to do with not having it all together?  So much, I promise!  I believe that the same analogy found in that poem also applies to motherhood.  I am a mom.  You might be a mom, or even dreaming of being a mom one day.  And if you are reading this blog, you are most likely a woman (I think my husband is the only guy who might read this blog. . . Feel free to prove me wrong).  We are women.  We balance work, family, volunteering, fitness, bible studies, and social commitments and add in our kids activities, appointments, and possibly different schedules in the mix.  We are wonder women who need our villages to make it all work.  Even as a stay at home mom, I need my people to help me manage it all.  My best friend, who is a working mom, have each other’s backs to help with pick ups.  Between the 2 of us, we have 4 kids at 3 different schools, all involved in different activities.  We need each other.

 Now, I wouldn’t call motherhood a giant storm.  But it is chaotic, busy, and beautiful.   It is so easy to become completely miserable the moment we compare ourselves to others.  This is so stinking easy.  Plus, I think the moment we start comparing ourselves to others we build walls around us that make it harder for us to connect with other women. . . And women are the hardest on each other.  I don’t know about you, I could use some encouragement in the midst of the chaos?  No one has time for walls and judgment.  We need each other to spend more time building one another up then tearing each other down because we want to feel better about ourselves. 

 In 2 Corinthians, there is a verse that talks about taking our thoughts captive (I will link it at the bottom).  It is a verse that sounds like it is preparing for war, and in all reality, we are.  Our mind and hearts are at war daily.  John Eldridge, in his book The Sacred Heart, uses the analogy of arrows being flung at you.  Our enemy, also known as Satan (not that mom who in the Pinterest loving room mom) knows your weaknesses.  He knows what words or thoughts will make you feel weak and unworthy. And he flings them at you hoping to break you down and make you angry, depressed, and jealous . . . The opposite of living a life that is Christ like.  He’s sneaky like that.  We need to take those thoughts captive and not let them get to our heart.

 I love Pinterest and Instagram so very much.  I can easily get lost in the sea of pretty homes and projects and after awhile, thoughts might come in that make me jealous, inadequate, or not worthy.  (One of the big ones for me is why bother blogging. . . There are other writers so much better than me doing the same thing. . .That’s a blog post for another day).  I also can look at the other moms around me they balance everything and wonder why I can’t seem to get my ducks in order.  But, then I remember a passage out of Titus.  Paul is writing encouraging words to his friend Titus and the church in Philippi and one of the things he challenges them to do is to think on things that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellence, and worthy of praise.  This list has been my battle ever since college.  I am so thankful that Satan provides a way to fight those arrows!

Let’s be better women and moms.  Let’s break down the walls we put up to protect us from hurt and jealousy and instead make some new friends and learn something new.  And most of all, let’s not let Satan win with his nasty arrows that go straight to our hearts!  Armor up, fellow ladies!