on being brave

Last month, Weston tried out rock climbing at our local rock climbing gym.  We had been looking for ways for him to do something extra curricular, but he has no interest in competitive sports like soccer.  He just likes to hang out and kick the ball around.  He doesn't ask for much.  We took him to a Saturday morning free climb to see what he thought and it just jumped right in (we didn't really think otherwise because he had gotten in trouble for climbing the boys bathroom wall earlier in the year).  He was assigned an adult, given a harness and off they went, ready to tackle some very tall walls.  His first wall, he went up a little bit and and then decided that it was high enough and he was ready to get down.  His "helper" released the ropes and he slowly floated down.  They moved on to another wall.  He climbed a ways and came down.  Then they went back to the first wall and his "helper" gave him a goal encouraging him to climb higher.  They did this several times, each time Weston got higher and higher, never reaching the top, but always surpassing his goal. He now goes every week, each week growing in confidence. 

It's amazing how quickly fear sinks in when we take our eyes off our goal and look down instead of up.  But, even when he looked down and called it quits for a particular climb his "Helper" was always there gently reminding him he could go higher and that he was okay, but if he needed to come down he would be there.  I love how this picture is just like God is with us. 

Ethan's favorite verse is  Joshua 1:9, which says, "Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be frightened and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." I have the cutest video of him reciting it when he was around 4 years old with cute little hands doing cute little motions.  It's the best!  But that kid is not 4 anymore and he's taller and busier and still that verse is his favorite.  When planning their room redesign last year, I really wanted to go with that verse because I want both my boys to grow up strong and courageous, taking on the mountains and hurdles that will come their way, knowing that God is with them wherever they go and in whatever they do.  They don't have to let fear take hold. 

Those words were spoken over Joshua by the Lord himself.  Not a prophet.  Not an angel.  The LORD spoke those powerful words into a young, new leader on the brink of an incredible adventure into the land that had been promised.  A land that the Isrealites had been dreaming about for 40 years. That's a long time to dream about something.  But, it's also a long time to think about all the what if's and plan b's.  Joshua was about to lead his people into land that was already being occupied by "scary people."  Years before this point, Joshua and some friends went out and investigated and explored what stood before them.  Most of Joshua's friends gave into the fear of what was ahead and ended up not being able to see the promised land. ever.  In fact, they were so afraid that they wanted to head back to Egypt and maybe get a new leader (you can read it in Numbers 14).

Needless to say, we know Joshua had faith.  He was ready to full on trust God way back when the majority of his friends gave into fear.  Moses had even been training him to take over.  But, how awesome of God to come and give him a pep talk as he began his new job as leader of the Isrealites.  The leader, who under God's guidance, was going to finally lead them into the promised land.

Sometimes, I need to hear those words that God spoke over Joshua loud and clear before embarking on anything new.   In fact, most of the time, I need to hear those words every time I sit down at this computer and write.  Really, the act of writing isn't the scary part.  I love writing in this little space but sharing my heart and words to you is hard.  It's scary.  People out there in internet land are really mean.  God and I have a lot of conversations about the future of this blog and I've never heard him say, "don't write. . . Don't share your heart." So, I obediently keep plugging along praising God for the posts that 1 person reads and the posts that 100 people read.

This last year, I felt some nudges to submit my writing to other publications and that was like 10 times scarier than anything.  I mean, I had written for our local newspaper  when I was in high school a few times. . . but that seemed so different and so long ago.  I spent what seemed like forever working on a piece for a mom journal, submitted it and it was accepted.  I could NOT believe it!  It never got published because of some crazy stuff happening on their end, but it was accepted.  I tried again to another journal and got rejected.  Oh, man.  Rejection hurts.  Things got busy and I just didn't find the time to try again. 

I've been reading a couple of books by Annie Downs.  I love her writing style and she's just so full of life lessons and books that I actually finish.  In her book, 100 Days to Brave, she says, "We can't see the future, so when we take steps forward, we've got to say no to fear." Ouch.  I can't see the future. I just have to be obedient to God's nudges and see where it goes.  It might not take me anywhere, but maybe God has a plan to use me through those things that I tend to give into fear, like writing. 

2019 started and I'm almost afraid to check instagram sometimes.  I've heard a few bloggers talking about why they write and why they blog and oh my gosh, it's like they were talking to me. . . because everything they were saying was what I was struggling with.  It was all words that I needed to hear. God's funny like that. He makes sure you hear what he has to say. 

So this year, I have said no to a few things to free up space for more writing and creating.  Those are things that bring my joy, but also things that God has given me a passion for that I need to pursue a bit more in this space.  I am going to be obedient to where he is leading me. . . because right now I'm not entirely sure where that is.  I just know that I need to be obedient and not give into those little voices in my head that tell me that "I'm not good at that" or "No one wants to read that" or "You don't measure up."  I'm going to celebrate failure and success.

I am going to walk into my kids room and remind myself of those words God spoke to Joshua.  I am going to ask God to go ahead of my writing . . ahead of my projects. . . to pave the way.  There will probably be lots of rejection and blog posts that maybe 1 person reads, but maybe.  Just maybe.  They will bring encouragement to someone who needs it.   

Do you have things that you give into fear? Is God calling you to be brave in an area of your life>  Is God maybe pushing you into a  new direction?  Are you scared to try something new?