Finding Balance when it you feel like you're going to fall on your head.

My husband woke up one morning and declared to my mostly asleep self that he was going to join a gym.  Apparently he had been thinking about it for some time and decided to inform me of this decision on a beautiful Saturday morning where I could sleep in.  I am sure I mumbled something to along the lines of,  "that's great!  You should totally do that!" and then rolled over and returned to my regular scheduled extra hour of sleep.  Well, he went to check it out, joined immediately and came home and said that I, too, should join the gym. 

Let me just say, that I had been working out regularly.  Pinterest, my elliptical, and those Jillian videos we bought a few years ago, were great. . . and I didn't have to leave my house.   Flash forward 24 hours and I became a member of our neighborhood gym and had friends to work out with and it's been great!  One of those nights last week, I decided to try the Bosu.  Basically the Bosu looks like the top third of a exercise ball with a flat bottom.  I really love this exercise tool, but the first time I used it to do squats, I might have almost fallen on my face.  Pretty glad no one was watching me (I hope!).  But the thing is, that feeling of standing on something and not having that feeling of balance goes deeper. 

And when it comes to balance, I don't have all the answers.  I don't even know if I have any answers.  It's an area I am trying to constantly figure things out and just when I think I have gotten balanced, something changes and we have to start all over again.  It's ever changing. 

One of my favorite things to do when I'm working around the house or driving is to listen to podcasts.  For awhile, one of the most common questions asked in interviews between women, was "how do you find balance?"  I can't begin to describe how much laughter, silence, and how every single answer was different.  I am pretty sure that balance can't be defined the same way for everyone.  Here's why.  God created us as individual human beings.  We are unique and unlike anyone else in the world.  So, what I find as balance may look completely different than my best friends.  That is okay. 

As women, we tend to be jugglers.  We have jobs, homes, kids, committees, schedules, and so many other things that fill our daily routine. So many times, we feel so tired, exhausted, and maybe like something is missing.  For the last few weeks, I had been praying about new commitments and I just wanted to do something creative.  These potential new things were going to take time and I don't feel like there is a whole lot of it right now.  I was off balance.  That creative outlet that God put in me, was not getting the love it needed.  So, last weekend, I set aside some time for the sewing machine and I to have a little date and guess what, some of the joy that was missing from my life was back. 

So here are my tips for finding your balance:

1.  Make a list.  I am a huge list maker, but make a list of all the things that require your time.  Make a list of the things that would like to do, that bring you joy.  Then pray about them.  What is in your life that doesn't really need to be there, so that you can find room for those things that bring you joy and rest.  For me, my relationship with God, husband, and kids are non negotiable.  When I am not getting into God's word, I am unbalanced.  When I am not spending time with my husband or kids, I am unbalanced.  I also have been working on specific times for writing and creating.  And from there decide what is necessary. 

If you are a working mom, obviously that's going to be high on your list.  I have the hugest respect for working moms. . . I am amazed how much they juggle and balance. 

2.  Pray.  I mentioned it earlier, because it is so important.  I honestly think that our balance needs Christ at the bottom in order to keep anything balanced.  Once we take Christ out of the picture, we will definitely lose our balance and fall on our face.  We need to submit our plans to God and that means our commitments, too!  I'm not going to lie, this is hard.  I am kind of a control freak.  But we need to take time to pray for wisdom on when to say yes and when to say no to something, even if it's just for a season. 

3.  Accept that this is just your season right now.  Somethings you might have to say goodbye to some things for a bit, and sometimes life just hits you hard and fast and you have to hold on.  We only have so many hands, fingers, and toes.  Sometimes life is just busy, chaotic, and even quiet. 

4.  Be okay with saying NO.  For the longest time, I was afraid to say no.  I really didn't want to let anyone down.  But, I learned that it's not our place to do everything. God created us to work in community and sometimes us saying no to something allows someone else to step into something that grows them.  My husband (he's so smart) is constantly reminding me that if I say yes to something, what does that mean I'm saying no to?   

5.  But, also, be okay with saying yes.  If God is urging you to say yes to something.  Grab hold of it and enjoy it!  See how God uses you through the season of that commitment. 

6.  Embrace bravery.  Maybe you need to say yes to something to keep your balance.  Maybe you need to say no because you're mental scale is leaning too far to the left.  Be brave as you make your decision, regardless of what others think.

7. Don't fall into the comparison trap. Whatever you do, do NOT compare yourself to your friends or other ladies in your circle.  Stand on that Bosu ball and pray about your balance.  We do too much comparing and judging each other and it really has to stop.  Comparison creates fear, jealousy, and inadequacy.  Remember that God created us each uniquely.  What keeps you balanced, my not keep your friend balanced. 

Right now, I am moving back into a season of slowing down. (And don't judge me because It's not really going to look very slow.)  We are in a super sweet spot with the boys and I am realizing each day that they really aren't' that little anymore.  And guys, they don't need me as much. Which is awesome but oh, so depressing.  I want to make sure I am present in their lives and enjoy the bike rides, the soccer games, and adventures because time keeps going and before I know it they are going to be off to college.

I also know that my heart needs to be creative.  It's how I am wired.  Without that outlet, I get a funky feeling that I can't brush away and when I get to use that outlet, that funkiness is replaced by joy. 

I had to say no to a couple of really neat things recently and I know that I made the right choice.  It hurt. It definitely wasn't easy, and I probably disappointed some people. But, I know that I made the right decision because I felt complete peace about it.  There was almost a joy in my heart after I made the decision to say no.  I am slowly, but surely, finding my balance.  I have to find it almost daily, and some days are more chaotic than others, and that's okay. 

I don't know if you struggle with balance like I do, but I am praying for you dear friend.